The "prince" of our hearts!!

Prince was not really a "prince"...she was,in fact,a "princess"...However,when me & my baba got her from the pet shop,we were under the blissful misconception that we had a sturdy li'l male Pomerian sleeping in my back-pack(it's tiny fur-head hanging out of the bag)..i remember we had stopped by at a Bata showroom to get some slippers & i had kept my back-pack on a desk near-by..Prince's head stuck out of the bag & made a pretty sight (imagine a white ball of shiny fur with two big brown eyes ,li'l ears that drooped at the tips & microsized button nose shining & twitching!!) In fact,most of the staff at the showroom had a tough time believing that it was a real animal & not a cute soft toy!
I was in Class 5 & it was October 24th of 1997.I was crazy about Prince.She got her regal name not by sheer fancy but due to her classic "princely" behaviour from the very first day with us!We fed her cerelac( i gulped down some too & how i love cerelac to this day!).She had so much of it that her pink tummy blew up like a pink balloon.We had a good laugh over her as she rolled right over,all fours in the air & tummy poppping out,with a look of utter satisfaction on her puppy-face.. it was such an endearing sight that we spoilt her for life by placing her on the bed(though Maa gave us very stern looks,she's a sweetheart who can never have her way with Dad around!)
Prince slept like a tiny log all night long & when i woke up in the morning,she was still dozing away!I wanted to watch her jumping about & decided to wake my li'l toy up for the day..But guess what?when i tried to nudge her,she literally snarled at me,baring her tiny teeth..I was taken aback & went complaining to baba at the breakfast table!!He roared with laughter when he heard this,& said,"He's truly a Prince..chol,let's call him Prince!"Thus,Prince was named Prince.Very soon after that,we discovered proof of her actual gender & poor Dad was furious that he had been tricked by the pet-shop owner(noone wanted a female dog because of all the complications involed!!).However,he didnt have the heart to return the li'l thing since we had even named her(& of course,my sister & me would start howling if he did that!)
So that was it!Prince stayed put & ruled our house for 14 long years!& what a beauty she grew up to be..without being partial,i can safely say that Prince was the prettiest lass i have set my eyes on till now..she had an amazing coat of fur,long & silky..she had long eye-lashes which she batted ever-so-often...she groomed herself like a typical girl & i am really not exaggerating.It was quite something to watch her after we had given her a bath.She barked happily,hopped from side to side like a loony toon & invited us to play with her by thumping her feet on the ground..& this habit of hers remained even as she grew old!Prince was as moody as my Baba..sometimes worse!We share a joke in the family that Prince had been inspired by Baba & emulated every characteristic of his!!Her mood changed after every hour or so & we had to be very careful with her..if she wasnt in the right mood,we risked being snarled at..she really didnt care if we were her her masters(i told you before..she ruled us!!!)But still,when she licked me softly & showed her affection,i could sense her deep-rooted protective instincts!!
Prince had the makings of a queen alright!for one,she accepted ALL the animals that we kept afterwards,whether it was the pigeon that stayed for a few days,or the guinnea-pigs that stayed for a few months,Prince treated them with silent dignity(after a few hours of incessant barking,of course!)She,in fact,even whiled away her time by playing with the guinea-pigs eventually..she let them run over her & nudged them around with her nose..strangely enough my guinea-pigs seemed to enjoy her company a lot!!But i kept a strict watch during her interactions with them coz you never knew with Prince!!
Then came my 2nd dog..now,Prince could deal with mere pigeons & guinea-pigs as her subordinates,you know..but another female dog posed a real threat to her sole dominance over us!Prince almost killed Gambu(yes,thats the name given to her & i'm still to unravel the mistery behind it!!)Gambu was a silly li'l pup with a friendly disposition,quite unlike prince & i dont think prince liked her very much.Nevertheless,the two dogs reached a mutual understanding within a few weeks & Gambu started following Prince wherever she went!!
It was quite hilarious to watch Gambu imitating whatever Prince did..if Prince was chasing a rat,Gambu would run too(though i am sure she had no idea WHAT she was running behind!) To the rest of us,Prince was the brighter side of life.None of us coulod ever be in a sour mood when Prince & Gambu were rambling around the house(which was always!!) They were either busy sniffing underneath the cupboards for cockroaches,or barking at random people who visited us,or engaging in fake-fights with each other(which very often turned into serious war!).I once got my ear almost bitten off by Prince while i tried to retrieve her from gambu's attack(Gambu was the stronger lady of the two & always won!)
My friends always made fun of me during winters since i always turned up in a green cardigan covered with dog-hair all over.This probably happened because i simply had to hug Prince before i left for school(Gambu never allowed me to hug her coz she was too busy chasing her own tail in excitement!)
Prince had the craziest food habits you can think of.She was spoilt rotten by Dad who loved her more than he loved us(he wont admit it but i can bet my life that he did!) Breakfast for Prince meant sitting underneath Dad's chair & munching the core of every cucumber slice he dropped "by mistake"!!Prince loved cheese,so much so that i cant ever bite into a cheese cube without thinking of our Prince.She had a tremendous soft corner for cheese & butter.However,if you think she had "evolved" into a 'sophisticated' pooch,think again!Prince went berserk when mom was cooking meat--she had a "thing" for raw meat & sometimes managed to steal some from under mom's nose!!& my mom had a tough time trying to feed Prince her main meals,since Prince never took any interest in the real meals of the day!!She would completely ignore the rice or roti mom gave her,always looking for chocolates,butter or any such tasty tidbits(thanks to Baba's pamperings!) My poor maa literally used to feed her with her hands since maa can never see anyone going without the main meal,be it man or dog!!! & if Prince did not like the "quantity" or "quality" of food given to her in the dog-bowl,she had an interesting way of showing her displeasure--she pushed the bowl with her nose further & further away from herself,preferably under a cupboard(silently saying "Out of my way,you filthy morsel of tasteless food!"
In her old age,i was hardly ever there at home to recount her idiosyncrasies but whenever i came home(which was twice a year!),she brought back my school days with her drooling tongue & wagging tail!I noticed that she spent most of her days lying on the diwan & watching TV with Baba(we were sure she understood cricket coz she would stare right into the TV during all the cricket matches Baba watched!)Earlier she used to jump onto the diwan herself but during the last year,she would bark incessantly till one of us lifted her where she most enjoyed her sleep!Even when she grew really old & moody,she still went mad with joy when i opened a cheese cube in front of her.& she chased cockroaches & rats right till her last days!Maa says Prince swallowed a rat few days before she passed away.We dont know if the rat was the cause or if it was age that took Prince away.
I booked a flight as soon as maa told me Prince might not make it.However,i reached home to visit her burial spot.I could not cry much in front of my family but i howled by myself in the shower,mainly with the regret of not meeting her for the last time.It was inevitable of course.Death is the final punctuation to every life..but for Prince,it is like a series of dots after the last line in a book..she left us wanting more & craving to hear that happy bark which assured us that she knew we cared...she was silent then & she is silent now..but she knows we care & she knows she still lives very much with us!..................love you Prince.

The Indian Kaleidoscope-PART 1

What comes to our mind when we think of the word 'beggar'?Conventionally-"one who begs for money or food and makes a living with that",right?Beggars abound in India.For every rich child born,there are probably hundred born to beggar parents!Not a very good sign...but that is not exactly what i will be writing about!My concern is better explained with one question--"are beggars born or can they be created?" This thought popped into my clattered mind one evening,as i was returning from the Infant Jesus Church,which is a place i visit quite often and encounter a nightmarish variety of beggars anyways!
So i had just got down from the BMTC.It was about 7 in the evening,but already pretty dark.I was walking cautiously on the sideway,holding onto my hand-bag(there are always certain miscreants interested in passers-by of the opposite sex!!)So,i was walking,conscious of every sound,every movement possible.That was when i heard a voice speaking in English,quite a pompous Yorkshire English at that!!!I will always remember his voice..."Let them come.I am not scared.We have to fight,my friends..no backing out now..we have to..."!! Normally if it was during the day and if i was not already in a pre-conditioned,apprehensive state of mind,the voice & the words would hardly have had any effect on me!But as it were,i could see nothing around me except the odd bushes on the right and the one-way on the left,the sudden proclamation stunned me to a sudden halt(not to mention the eerie feeling that coiled around my heart!).I expected something supernatural maybe,but my logical alter-ego was telling me that it was some random IT professional,walking behind me & speaking over the phone to his clients!This thought comforted me somewhat and i strained my ears & neck to detect the source of those proclamations!
However,what met my eyes did not quite register in my brains at first sight.There was this old,scrawny li'l man,dressed in a ragged and shabby kurta,torn & tattered in various places!
His face was hidden behind a huge,white beard and dirty,matted hair covered his head & shoulders.He held on possessively to a huge rug-sack overflowing with rubbish picked up from the road.
I was stunned at the stark contrast to the pre-conceived image my mind had related to the flawless English which i had heard,and this quintessential beggar which met my eyes just added to my state of utter bewilderment!Here was a typical Indian beggar,who had been reduced to poverty owing maybe to his insanity or maybe his insanity had been the result of his fall in society!I closed my eyes for a few seconds,took in this experience with a pinch of salt,and stored this memory away in a corner of my mind.It was scary.His words,his knowledge exposed his past-he had been educated well-so what went wrong?
I am never going to know.But in India,where such stark contrasts and shocking juxtapositions,are not unusual,to say the least,my experience was perhaps not such a big deal,when you look at it from a greater perspective!!

anaesthesia..

i cried when i was born...i have cried many more times since then!life has shown me many faces...life has been kind to me in so many ways!but has put on that ugly mask...oh..so many times!but at the end,that 'ugly' part is just what i called it..a 'mask'!!coz,right down at the root...life is kind,very kind...i used to dream of what people will think and do when i die!!i even tried my hand at taking my life...it never works that way!coz when u dont want to live anymore...u send a signal to some super-power out there...a signal which tells HIM that its time to make u realise how futile your attempts are!you might wish to wash your hands off...but you just cant do it that way...u HAVE to live.you are nothing but a coward if u call it 'the end'...yes,i have seen tough times...my brain hasnt always been straight...i have made mistakes and suffered for it..so what?does it make a difference?it doesnt stop me from making mistakes again n again...but life keeps me afloat..a li'l bubble in the sea of uncertainty.these thoughts are good..they keep me going..
"strange are the ways of sadness and dejection...
it makes u go through the worst of rejection...
& yet it teaches you the biggest lessons..
in accepting your own SELF..
by drowning in life's very essence!"
SO LONG...li'l lost soul!

minimalistic mind

its crazy.this entire humdrum called 'life'!!when i was young...i had dreams of growing up...everyone else dreamt of becoming an astronaut,or an actress,or a doctor!!but i just dreamt of growing big!period.being a kid,dwarfed by so many 'tall' things around was frustating for me!tall people,tall talks....i dint like it at all...i used to stare at the big girls of our convent's high school....and wish and wish to emulate them as best as i could!!dont know why i was like that but i was like a very 'sombre in the inside' kind of kid!
as i grew up,my inhibitions gave way to passion and excitement....i was learning!learning all those things that grown up knew and never divulged when kids were around...i learnt by myself,from friends,from the dictionary,in books!here,i not only mean the tabooed stuff of childhood(love,sex,temptation...to be precise!) but i also refer to ambition,friendship,betrayal,jealousy......all that was previously just a hazy dust in the horizon was suddenly all over me,dripping over my brains,soaking into my soul.....i never complained....i was finally 'growing up'....so i had my dream fulfilled pretty fast in life!:)
then came the part of life where you have absorbed enough and would just like some time to recurperate...but suddenly,time takes off like a F1 automobile and you find yourself trapped in it's grasp....i did not want to grow up anymore...i did not want any more lessons on life's sinful canvas!but i could do nothing to make it stop!
maybe i could have started writing passionately earlier in my life....but as the cliche goes 'better late than never at all!!' so this is my first blog and its about the first thing that my soul acknowledged right from the time it entered the realm of this 'unreal' reality of earth zone...there is simply no time to indulge your abstract fantasies....time is more than just your heart-shaped alarm clock!!